Only

I'm only. I'm the only one in here. My sister, Sarah, used to say that when she was little. I always think of it when I am alone. I am not alone very often, these days. But, Derek is in You Nork again, and I feel like talking. I am only. I hate it when he travels. There. I said it. I think it totally sucketh. I worry. I find that the kids, though it is subtle, are wired for trouble. I feel a sense of pause in my life, like I am waiting for my turn. I talked to Derek a few times today on the phone and he said, "it is torture being here and being trapped in an office for 9 hours when NY is right outside my window." I know how he feels, and more. I felt like saying, "yeah, at least you don't have a two year old pawing at your boobs, grinding his teeth and telling you "Me no like you". At least he got to eat an incredible sandwich at the Carnegie Deli and walk though Times Square without a toddler trying to poke his eyes out.

I hostessed a miserable play date today. Greta and Jack were up late last night and got up at freakin 5 am, so by noon they were malfunctioning. My old buddy from the days before kids and I set up a date with her kiddos, Atticus and Jules. They came over for lunch and broke in the playroom. When they left 3 hours later, it looked like an Alabama tornado blew through and Greta and Jack warmed their butts up by sitting in time out more times than I can count. Jules almost flopped face first down our steps and I think I might have even scared Claudia, my buddy, by my sweet angel children's' taste for destruction. I have never seen them behave this way...I take that back. Greta bit me once when I told her it was time to leave the java momma playgroup. I carried her out kicking and screaming and we have never been back.

The only reason my kids aren't in time out right now is because they are asleep. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday.