My Dad

Papa passed on December 20, 2012. I am grieving . I miss him terribly.

Something Out of a Fairytale

We found a quiet little place to visit Santa.  It was away from all the chaos, and commercialism,  and crowded long lines.  And it was a secret place shared by a friend of ours.  And there were fairy gardens and magical trains and twinkle lights.

Holding hands, so excited and so nervous.

Greta is 6 and on for her birthday she got to have a day of wishes, and visit with Santa.

Tinkerbell's vacation home.

Dream big. (Jack would like a tree house and Greta would like a bow and arrow).

Picture perfect.

Polar Express

Koi

Twinkle and shine

Big fish

Retro

Sweet Six

When this sweet little girl wakes up in the morning, she will be six years old.  The other side of 5....so big! But, she is still so little and so sweet and still so much my baby. I still hold her and massage her cold little unsocked feet until they are warm again.  I still draw her in to smell her honey hair. I still run my finger on her cheek under her eye and feel how soft she still is.  And I am still learning her ways and trying to be her best mom.

Spending Some Time

Sunday I left the kids at home to play with Derek.  I went to see Papa without them.  I always have them with me.  The car was so quiet this time.

I found dad in the cafeteria finishing his lunch.  I took him back to his room and let him have a breathing treatment while I decorated his Christmas Tree.  When he finished his treatment I turned his chair so he could see the lights glowing in the dimmed room.  We listened to a few Christmas songs and then settled in to watch a movie.  Hugo.  Dad tried for a few minutes to get his arm over onto the armrest on his chair, but he couldn't do it. I tried and it was so stiff that I was scared I would break him. So, I held his hand in mine and he finally relaxed and stopped shaking.  I got to hold his hand through the whole movie.  When his eyes closed, we took a break and I helped him open them again.  He watched the movie with the wonder of a child.  But, he has always been like this.  Movies have always taken him to a favorite place, and this one was perfect for us to watch together.

It was exactly right. It felt so good to be with him.  He even said, "I love you, too."

A Day of Family and Fresh Air

Grandma and Poppy drove from Kentucky on Wednesday evening, eager to hug and love on their grand kids.  The kids were very excited, too.  Grandma and Poppy always bring excitement to our usualness.  They even came with presents for birthdays and just because.  We took them to Oklahoma Joe's for our favorite BBQ.  The line was stretched out side the door with crowds of family in town and  people picking up smoked turkeys for their feasts the next day.  The restaurant is happy and the BBQ is always perfect. I always order the Z Man.  I can't change this usualness.  We even had a couple of cold beers.  Then, back to the house to open gifts and settle in to watch Disneyland videos and retell stories from our pictures.

Thanksgiving morning we woke up and drove to Andover to see Grandpa Marvin and Grandma Betty and a few aunts, uncles and cousins.  The weather was incredible and the sunshine was warm.  We got to spend the whole afternoon in the country finding bird nests and making fairy houses.  Marvin and Betty were doing well and we are so thankful for this.  We cherish every year we get to spend together.

Grandpa Marvin's windmill.  He is a tinkering fellow...and Derek has his genes for this.  I find it to be both a blessing and a curse.

Greta and Jack squint by Marvin's tractor.

This is a picture of a fairy house builder who has a tummy full of pie and hands full of pine cones.

And, as always, I reflect on this day and the Christmas season that follows so quickly behind.  We drove home from Andover that night and pulled quietly into the garage, and quietly carried heavy sleepy children upstairs to their beds.  We quietly slipped shoes off and tucked covers around little bottoms.  The drive home was dark through the Flint Hills and then I could see a country house now and then with bright Christmas lights up.  When I was a little girl I loved to ride in the car at night and press my cheek against the cold glass window and watch the stars as we drove. I also loved it when my dad would carry my sleeping body inside.  And, now the story continues.  I wonder if my dad knew I was a little bit awake every time.  As the story goes, I am sure he did!

That's My Boy!

Today in the car, Jack said to me, "My penis is sticking up!"  I said back to him, " OH! Why, Jack?"  And he replied to me in all sincerity, " Maybe it got an idea!"

Favoring Jack

Even though we were at Disneyland for Jack's birthday, we wanted to bake him a cake and celebrate with our friends who have known him since day one.  We celebrated Jack with his favorite, Jack Skellington and The Nightmare Before Christmas.  I could have gone bonkers and spent tons of money on decorations - It is so fun to combine Halloween and Christmas! I do believe the neighbors think me crazy now, too!  Big fat pumpkins and colored lights mixed with spider garland and flickering candles set the scene.

Jack loved his cake. I am getting better at these.  I made a very moist vanilla cake (light and white) with blackberry preserves and buttercream alternated between the layers.  The blackberry was the perfect touch and it bled into the cake making a masterpiece once cut.

The punch was Frog's Breath.  And, we ordered up Jack's favorite....pizza.

Kids at the Lake

We spent a weekend with the Lytle's and Melik and Elif at the Lake of the Ozarks.  It was spectacular with color, and the fish were biting!

Emerson, Greta, Jack and Cohen on a walk, taking a break by the red door.

Halloween was soon to come, Zombies growl from the fence post.

Greta caught a perch!

Beautiful lake.

Fishing for dinnah.

Jack's fish!

A special moment with Dad. I hope he remembers this weekend.

Taking a ride on a boatercycle.

She LOVES a thrill ride!

Jack caught it all by himself.

Greta is a fishergirl.

Fall

Fright Night Delight

The finale to our wonderful October did not disappoint!  Halloween is such a favorite of mine.  This year the costumes were harder to settle on, but in the end, I think we were in perfect choices.

Things are not what they seem on Halloween! A fish out of water and a yard ornament come to life went knocking on doors and raising eyebrows.  We began our haunting, traditionally, with the Lytle's.  Tara made piping hot chili, and mummy pizzas and hot dogs for the kids.  She carved jack o lantern oranges filled with berries and iced eyeball cupcakes.  We watched The Corpse Bride by projector and warmed up by the fire.  And when all of the ghoulish kids were ready, we trick or treated faster than ever.

They open their mouths as if to say, "put candy into here."

Greta eats her mummy dog with such a ladylike demeanor.

Fish Food.

Action shot.

This year, I loved being with friends and seeing the kids, getting older and wiser and even cuter if you can believe it.   But, we left the group at the end of the street and headed back to our own.  I remember how, each Halloween, my dad took us out to trick or treat and my mom stayed home to hand out the candy and tell us about the best costume of the night.  And, I think she also guarded the pumpkins from tricksters.  So, we reigned in our Halloween and made it our own.  Derek took the kids down our street, with our neighbors.  Mike and Dotty had been waiting all night to see Greta and Jack.  I was on our porch lighting our Jack o lanters when I heard them loving on the kids.  They really do love them.  They really had been waiting for them to ring the bell. I am so glad we made it back to say boo.

And, when their little legs could walk no more, they came home to pumpkin peanut butter sandwiches and glasses of milk.  And we watched the Corpse Bride on the big cozy couch.  And Greta and I cried at the end when she turns into butterflies.  

Pictures Worth Words

The Grizzly River Rapids were steps away from our room! We could ride, get drenched and go change in ten minutes!

A peek of our hotel, The Grand Californian Hotel.  I thought it was beautiful, and a perfectly relaxing place to be after the parks.

Mouse ears by the fire, and a sad girl is about to check out.

By the fire.

Blurry lobby...my iphone can't do it justice.  The space is incredible.

Hearthside.

Tikki Room

Sunset on our Disney Vacation.

Frankenweenie exhibit, and just days after Tim Burton was there, himself.

Bug's view

My love bugs

A bug's view of the Tower of Terror (I mentioned you could almost see it from every where....)

They held hands.

Whoah. High.

Birthday boy breakfast at Storyteller's Cafe with the Critters.

Brother bear wants waffles.

Meeko is loved.  Pocahontas is Greta's favorite.

Periwinkle is pretty cool.

Toadaly another reason to visit Disneyland!

Until you square dance with a tractor, you have not danced.