He Can Be Taught

Despite all of my efforts, I think he is actually potty trained. I tried to keep him in diapers, but he has other plans. We have been using the potty at home with perfection for months, but I always slip a diaper on him for errands and adventures just because I wasn't ready to conquer the public bathroom with him yet. Wanna know how I know he is trained? I earned 2 mother of the year awards for this knowledge.

Remember that day that Jack locked me out of the car in the Arctic parking lot of Target? Well, that day, while getting him ready for our outing, I put overalls on him over his thermals, socks and shoes, coat and hat and we were out the door. By the time we got to Greta's school to pick her up it was 11:30 and Jack went into the boy's bathroom right outside her room. I just looked at him and made him come back out. Greta said she needed to go potty before we left so we went into the girl's bathroom and I helped her. Jack said, "me peepee too." I brilliantly said, "Jack, you wait until we get home because I don't have a new diaper to put on you if I take this one off." We were on our way.

We got home and I got the kids settled into some Caillou on the TV to fine tune their whining skills while I make their lunch. I notice Jack tugging on his overall straps and I think, oh, he wants those off. But, I go upstairs and make lunch. Lunch is served on the coffee table and Jack walks up to me and he is soaked from his waist down! Yep, Brilliant me didn't even realize the poor kid didn't have a diaper on and needed to go potty. He had been trying to tell me for an hour. Brilliant.

The second award I got...Again, picking Greta up from school, we were early. Jack goes into the girls bathroom and says, "I peepee." I think, well, we have to do it sometime, so I take off his coat and pull down the jeans and take off the diaper and set him on the potty, holding him under his arms. Looks good. I hear him peeing, but I don't see the water turning yellow. That is because he peed out the crack below the seat and above the bowl and soaked his pants, socks and made a huge puddle on the floor. So, I failed. I have no idea how to help the little man pee in the potty. I am making him pee like a girl because I just don't know the technique to get such a little guy to aim up that high. When we first started training I held him over the potty like superman and all he did was laugh and toot. Maybe I can fit a step stool into the diaper bag. Or, obviously, a change of clothes.

Car Alarm

The day that it was -1 degree with a windchill of -14 was a good day. Greta had preschool despite the cold weather, and Derek and I debated on whether or not we should take her or just stay home, warm by the fire in pajamas. I decided she would be too sad to miss, so I bundled her up and Derek stayed home a little longer with Jack so he didn't have to be nipped by the wind.

It wasn't so bad if you weren't out in it long. Greta was absolutely stoked to be at school...she was showing off her new shoes. I got home and said goodbye to Derek and slipped over-alls over Jack's thermal long johns, a hat, boots...wait, scratch that....He won't wear his boots any more since Grandma sprayed them with perfume. (that is another story for you!) Shoes, coats, and we were out the door to stop by Target before picking up Greta at 11:30.

We got our goodies, and some other goodies we didn't expect to buy. I was beaming when we left because a woman paid me a compliment in the check out line. She said what a good boy Jack was and that she had seen us a few times in the store and he was a perfect shopper. I smiled so big and thanked her as she went on to tell me why he was so good - I have control of his mind, or something like that.

Out to the car, and the wind stings, but the sun feels good. Jack grabs the keys from me as always. He likes to hold them while I put him in the car seat and he likes to push the button that makes the key come out like a pocket knife. Awesome. In the car he goes, all strapped in and safe. I slide the door shut and before I even have my hand off of the handle my car honks. Jack has locked me out. Fabulous.

In that instant, this is what went through my brain. Shit. Brr. Jack, push the button. (He laughs at me.) Jack push the button. (He laughs at me and says, "no".) Jack push the button. I see his little thumb skim over it and he pushes the "Lock" button again. Jack push the other button. (He laughs at me.) He pushes the button. I say with such delight, "AGAIN! Do it AGAIN, JACK!" He does and faster than a flash I pop the handle of the door open. That was a close one to me getting Mommy of the Year!

I thought, how freakin perfect that I lock my baby in the car at Target on the coldest day of the year, and we are late to pick up my other baby at school. In that very first instant I had a vision of Jack chucking the keys to the side and sticking his fingers in his nose, and I knew that I had only a small window to maintain eye contact with him and again, control his brain.

I laughed all the way down 95th street and looked at Jack in the rear view mirror. I said, "Jack, you have no idea! You have no idea!"

Or does he.....

Cold Totties

The first snow of the year fell beautifully through the day and evening and the kids woke up to see how much was there, as if Santa had left it himself. I had picked out little snow suits and waterproof boots and gloves for the kids to open Christmas morning and was excited to see them do their stuff out there in the cold. I only have a few memories of playing in the snow as a kid. My mom just wasn't for having cold wet children and so most of my memories are of looking at the snow from the pink velvet couch in our formal living room. I would sit on my knees and rest my chin on the back of the rolled back and peer out of our front window. I gazed out at it as the door flew off of the hinges and 6 boys ran outside from the house across the street to play in my snow. The Kirks. It was a household of 6 boys in all - Chad, Chris, Cody, Casey, Clancy and Clay. They played in my snow. They also caught their house on fire a couple of times and tied a rope to the chimney and "swung around". They also made their yard a dirt bike track and kept the neighborhood alive with festivities...kite wars and bottle rocket extravaganzas. I made them play Barbies with me and I made them mud pies, so I know they also had a soft side. But, I didn't when they played in my snow.

Before getting Greta and Jack suited up I saw our neighbor, Cam, out in his driveway and I did what any good mother in my position would. I sounded the battle cry and sent the kids out to defend what was theirs. They went out and took 5 steps into it, turned to look back at me and that was about it. Jack ventured out further and might have a future in snow boarding by the look of him out in the powder, but Greta is my cocoa girl. We went back in, warmed up sitting together by the fire and ate marshmallows.

You can have our snow.

Greta

Dammit I'm lovable.

He is Fluent

I wouldn't necessarily say that Jack is a late bloomer in terms of talking because I am taking into consideration that he is the second born, and a boy - both of which are characteristics of kiddos that talk a little later than some. Dr. Kate said he would have a language boom around 18 months or 24 months. I waited. He just stuck with the basics of Mamma, Dadda, Igig, eat, moo....etc. And, to my pleasant surprise, in the past few weeks he is speaking to us in phrases! All of a sudden this little guy has something to say! My favorite is his answer to, "Jack, what is that?" He says, "I donno, Wha?" He knows his colors and princesses and big words like, "Downstairs"! I think he knew them all along, but was loving the extra attention.

I have been wanting him to talk more because with it comes his awesome sense of humor. The kid is a nut and has always loved it when he makes us laugh. A day without laughter is not on the schedule.

Speaking of words. Greta has a new one, as well. She said Dammit. She said, "I miss my friends dammit I can't wait to see them at school. I replayed it in my head 3 times before I looked at Derek and mouthed, "Did she say ______?" His eyes bugged out and he nodded. Oops. My bad, there. I will own that one. We let it go. She had no idea what she said, and I am hopping it will fade away. But, yesterday she came to me and said, "Do you know I have a wicked mouth?"

I said, "Yes, I am aware of this fact." Can't wait to hear what my sailors say next, can you?

A New Day

It is not so much that I feel like I have gotten a fresh start this 2011, but I do feel as if I am starting this year off with a wealth of knowledge that I didn't have last year. Better than a resolution - I feel I can't fail! And, if I do fail, then I will be smarter for it in 2012.

I am excited for all of the fun stuff we can do. I am thankful for our health and for our hope. I think it is going to be a good one.

Feeling welcome....We went to see family on January first. Judy and Charles Cole are my mom's cousins and every year they have a house full of family. They serve incredible lunch and desserts...Brisket and green beans, mashed potatoes and a homemade cheesecake that was gone before I unfolded my napkin. We felt so welcome. The cousins played until they were limp with exhaustion.

We exchanged Christmas ornaments and the kids went fishing. By fishing, I must explain that the older cousins hung one of Judy's antique quilts in a bedroom doorway and made a fishing pole for the kids - a yardstick with a string and clip on the end. The kids cast over the quilt and the older cousins clipped toys and gave the pole a big tug to let them know there was a bite. Greta caught a pink frog, a blue caterpillar and a little fuzzy bunny. Jack caught a blue frog, a blue caterpillar and hot wheels car.

It's a good day when the fish are bitin'.