Car Alarm

The day that it was -1 degree with a windchill of -14 was a good day. Greta had preschool despite the cold weather, and Derek and I debated on whether or not we should take her or just stay home, warm by the fire in pajamas. I decided she would be too sad to miss, so I bundled her up and Derek stayed home a little longer with Jack so he didn't have to be nipped by the wind.

It wasn't so bad if you weren't out in it long. Greta was absolutely stoked to be at school...she was showing off her new shoes. I got home and said goodbye to Derek and slipped over-alls over Jack's thermal long johns, a hat, boots...wait, scratch that....He won't wear his boots any more since Grandma sprayed them with perfume. (that is another story for you!) Shoes, coats, and we were out the door to stop by Target before picking up Greta at 11:30.

We got our goodies, and some other goodies we didn't expect to buy. I was beaming when we left because a woman paid me a compliment in the check out line. She said what a good boy Jack was and that she had seen us a few times in the store and he was a perfect shopper. I smiled so big and thanked her as she went on to tell me why he was so good - I have control of his mind, or something like that.

Out to the car, and the wind stings, but the sun feels good. Jack grabs the keys from me as always. He likes to hold them while I put him in the car seat and he likes to push the button that makes the key come out like a pocket knife. Awesome. In the car he goes, all strapped in and safe. I slide the door shut and before I even have my hand off of the handle my car honks. Jack has locked me out. Fabulous.

In that instant, this is what went through my brain. Shit. Brr. Jack, push the button. (He laughs at me.) Jack push the button. (He laughs at me and says, "no".) Jack push the button. I see his little thumb skim over it and he pushes the "Lock" button again. Jack push the other button. (He laughs at me.) He pushes the button. I say with such delight, "AGAIN! Do it AGAIN, JACK!" He does and faster than a flash I pop the handle of the door open. That was a close one to me getting Mommy of the Year!

I thought, how freakin perfect that I lock my baby in the car at Target on the coldest day of the year, and we are late to pick up my other baby at school. In that very first instant I had a vision of Jack chucking the keys to the side and sticking his fingers in his nose, and I knew that I had only a small window to maintain eye contact with him and again, control his brain.

I laughed all the way down 95th street and looked at Jack in the rear view mirror. I said, "Jack, you have no idea! You have no idea!"

Or does he.....