Christmas Morning Before Sunrise

As children, my sister, Sarah, and I found it torturous to sleep on Christmas Eve. We notoriously would wake at 3 am and were sternly told to stay in bed until at least 5 when my parents usually got up.  I remember one year, Santa came while we were at a Christmas Eve service the night before and I suspect it was because my parents wanted to sleep that night and not be exhausted at Christmas dinner with our grandparents.

This Christmas was so very painful for me. We lost our Papa last year, and now realize that I was very numb.  This year it stung my heart.  I think of him every single day and tears still come. I took time by the twinkling tree and reflected and hoped that I would feel him close.  And, this is what happened.....

Presents were wrapped and Derek and I guaranteed ourselves that we would be in bed reasonably before 11.  We tried to get everything finished early so we could even sit and enjoy a glass of wine on Christmas Eve an soak in the moment of that night and what was to come.  But, then the piles of presents got mixed up before we got them under the tree, and the blurr that is my brain function made us have to unwrap a little corner to figure out what was what and what was for whom and from whom...comedy at its finest.

Then, to bed. 11:30. Not too bad.

There were sweet little voices trying to whisper. I heard them in my dream. They could see a giraffe. It woke me fast. They were up and going for the goods. I saw the clock. 1:30 am. Nooooo!  I had to stop them! I flew up and stopped them and herded them back to bed (they sleep together in Jack's bed now).  We told the to sleep a little longer. I cuddled back up in the warm bed and laughed...just like me. Now I know how Papa felt. Papa was smiling.

But, the kids weren't buying it. They were up and ready. And, I looked at Derek's face on the pillow next to mine and said, "We can either go for it and do an all nighter or we can divide and conquer. We split them - Greta and I  and Derek and Jack.  We got them to sleep until 5:30...that is when I woke Greta by willing her up. I couldn't wait any longer....

I tiptoed down the stairs while everyone was still, and I got a fire started, and soft music on, and some pictures of what the kids would see when they finally got their Christmas morning...And I got to think of Papa and have him with us, still.